Breaking Boundaries

A Great Close Friend, aka "Brother" even though we share no blood, once told me that in order to make "art" you have to break boundaries. It's not enough to make a pretty picture or something creepy or something pretty in order to really rip into the viewer and unveil the ugly truth of emotion and life. He even says the word "art" in quotes to seperate it from the highly skilled creatives he knows who do make livings from their illustrations, their tattoo skills, their paintings and such. He means fine art. The art that is supposed to bring a subject to the harsh revealing light of scientific disection to reveal the base motivation and emotion.

Break boundaries.

So I thought. And remembered. And sketched. And, of course, had another beer, because most of our mad conversations revolve around strong black coffee or cheap beer (mainly because we are a poor folk of writers and artists....)

I thought about all the random stuff I've been collecting through the years. The broken white plastic horse that either belonged to a little cowboy or little girl's carosel. Of the tiny doll hands, which I'm still not sure where they came from. Of the little tins, screws, nails, broken bits of jewelry. The preserved insects and bones that I've collected from railroad ditches. The pretty eggshells from my friend's mother's farm-raised chicken eggs.
And my creative brain gestated.

At some point, the brain started birthing little images; little solutions for all the random things in my collections which might break the boundary of the third dimension to illustrate some memories held a little too close. Some could fall back on the story of "illustrating old sayings" if I felt too closed to explain my real motivations. You see, the main reason I embrace commercial art more readily is because I don't like defending and explaining myself. I got pretty sick of it between the ages of 11-21. Hard freakin' 10 years, if I don't say so myself. Towards the end of that period I essentially gave up trying to explain myself in words and turned toward actions or radio silence. If I was interrupted in a conversation, if I was mocked, if I was over-shadowed, I just closed up and closed off the communications. There were few people that recieved the full treatment, but even they would sometimes instill a silence.

Jump ahead 5-6 years; I'm explaining how I feel and why...and people are accepting it. I'm explaining my plans, with trouble, but sometimes my point is getting across. I grow a little bolder in announcing myself to the world.

Jump to my brother's unspoken dare to break boundaries and you're met with "Walking on Eggshells,"

the first installation of the series but not the first in the chronological sense of memory. I actually have two pages of rough sketches that I return to and flesh out in order of material availabilty and time.

Tonight I wrapped up the next installation which would actually fall a little further down the timeline "Unspoken, Flayed Open, but Unbroken"


I started this piece a little late due to another commission, but even so, I also mis-calculated the amount of time it would take to build a ribcage from paper. It took twice the time to just glue things, nevermind sculpting the shoulders/head from polymer clay and to securely fasten it all to the backing of purple velvet fabric, a remenant from a skirt I made an eon ago. Everything in this piece (minus the frame...but since it's a little beat-up you can stretch the imagination there, too.) Everything means something, no matter how cliche it is for someone in long black skirt to use. Below is the summation I sent to my Brother, after we had an artists' argument about the usage of pages from 1984.

"1984 exemplifies the bindings and restrictions I felt for a very long time. During this time I was also drilled, tortured and questioned about every action, reaction and response I had with life. I felt the Eye of Big Brother every day under two prominent men for a majority of my developmental phases. It's taken less time to regrow my skin, but the scars of such flaying, the social quirks and the lock on my heart still remain to this day.
Like a moth to the flame, I never strayed, always circling and getting singed. Until the flame was extinguished.
Once that wind came, I flew away as quickly as my wings could take me."

I don't share this in the hunt for pity, as you don't know the full details of what went on. I don't share this to make those parties who ARE privey to the details feel guilty, or sadness, or anything negative. I share this information, this inspration, because I kindof made the decision to share my words along with my images.

Yes, I thrive with commercial illustration and design. But I also embrace words and the more abstract meanings that fine art lends itself to.

I didn't have an easy time executing this piece. The elements came together just fine. The idea, the sketch, the feather and moth, the key and ribbon. But the figure, the doll which represents myself, was difficult. That's why it was pretty awesome when I picked up a scrap of 1984 to sign my name and date and realized the words printed on it were "...and with some difficulty, ..."

Yes, with some difficulty I persue this action of exposing my innermost feelings, memeories, growth and thoughts.
But, here they are.

I hope you enjoy them. And I hope you're able to come to Marathon Village, 1305 Clinton Street, this Friday, December 9, 2011 and see what my little crappy phone camera hasn't captured. The event is free, the booze, wine and refreshments are free, and the other 70+ artists hanging alongside are so remarkable that even if you hate mine, you'll find something to love.

What do Boxing Turkeys Have to Do with Thanksgiving?

Nothing, really. But imagine where the loser is!


Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Hope you're comfortably full and surrounded by people who enrich your lives.

PewPewPew. Random stuffs=Laser Gun

I should probably be entered into a "Worst Blogger in the World" contest; I'd win hands down. I intended on writing about my Day of the Dead mask and the laser gun for my brother-in-law's Dr Horrible costume last month, but time slipped away silently. Now, we rest on the cusp of Thanksgiving and I'm writing about Halloween garb in between the greeting card illustration I'll be sending out Thursday.

Below is the base toy gun I used for Dr Horrible's laser. I found it for dirt-cheap at Goodwill and the bottom bar of the handle was perfect to re-fab...
it needed to be moved to the back, of course, but that just took a little elbow grease, a hacksaw and a lot of plastic dust.

After digging through my storage closet for a box (ended up being a chocolate box) and the White Drawers of Randomness, which include quater machine bubbles, spools from wire, cigar containers, etc., then decoupaging with a leftover cell phone manual, I was left with this rough looking beauty:
I enjoyed the patterns that the text offered, but Dr Horrible's gun was black and silver, so I pulled out the spray paints and went to work (on the porch, otherwise the cat would've gotten high on fumes.)


Of course, like any nerd, my brother-in-law was SUPER PSYCHED to recieve such epic awesomeness.

And, like any artist would do for a family memeber, I accepted payment in Blue Moon beer.

I decoupaged my own mask using the same cellphone manual, first molding the paper around the the brow and nose from a cheapie little Zorro mask, letting it dry overnight to ensure the shape would hold as I built layers upon Layers upon LAYERS of paper using a model skull to keep the shapes and symetry correct. It took three days between employment, drying glue and making sure I liked the shape. Below are the process photos (featuring the super helpful studio cat, Mr Copper!)and the final product and costume, pictured with my awesome husband as Captain Hammer (Dr Horrible's nemisis.)

Take a tour.

Just a mini update between the freelancing and Halloween creating and the general chaos that life seems to offer. Today was lost in the manic re-arranging of the studio, thanks to aquiring a new shelf for the novels and moving around more shelves for the husband's massive trade comic collection. I ended up with about 5 extra feet of space, so I quickly moved in to move crap around and make it disappear.
I forgot to take a "before" photo of the studio, but this was the basic workplace, with the 7 foot black shelve, but with some shelves/storage where the monitor/computer are currently:



I didn't have the wonderful bottom shelf full of my paper stock, the computer tower and scanner hogged that area, and the middle had the monitor and printer. Functional for the space/furniture I had at my disposal, but not the best layout for a smooth workflow.
But now! Now I have "workstations" fleshed out a bit better...well, maybe they're more like "storage stations" but I'm able to reach most of my frequent needs with my awesome little rolling chair. My monitor now sits on a stack of milk crates that serve as storage for the magazines for decoupage items, office-related and research books (like thesarus & spanish dictionary.) A wonderful friend, Red Marie, gave me an acrylic display that now houses my folders, adhesives, varnishes and other items...along with being the base for my Tower of Awesomeness. White drawer with more fun toys (tools that aren't the garage hardware, that's in the kitchen.) with the many tiny drawers that hold the found objects for my Florid Findings and other dimensional projects.
I also have a large brown box housing my matt board drops, a large white drawer holding a TON of random things...very random. You'll find out HOW random in the next post when I show you what I pulled out to make a freeze ray gun. I saved that space to store my finished work, sketches, and random materials. I like that corner now...kinda hated it before today.



The shelf/storage that used to be next to my desk was moved to the far wall, still houses the same materials, but I'm able to keep the books I plan on using in art (not to read, really) on the bottom with my books on various artists in the larger shelf above. Next is the new combined shelving for the novels and Novel Shelf #2 with Mr Smith peeking over the silk and dried flowers.



And then we have the final studio wall with Novel Shelf #1, flanked by storage for spray paint, printer ink, random stuff, my sewing kit, and more random stuff.
Storage is god in this studio. Well, random stuff is god, storage is the church.



Now I can bring my easel in, or spread a million fascinators on the floorspace, or stop accidentally buying supplies for a second or third time cause I lost the can of fixative (though you can't have too much of that stuff.)

Thanks for flicking through my studio! See you with the process photos of the freeze ray gun for my brother in law's Halloween costume and my Day of the Dead mask.

Dimensional Memories

Hello to the new followers :waves: It's always neat to watch the number of followers increase, so I hope you enjoy the journey.

The past few weeks have ended up mashing together so quickly that I wasn't able to upload process photos of the dimensional piece I put into the 20th anniversary show for Untitled, so here's the review blog for it.

I was so back-logged with freelance work that I wasn't able to start production until the weekend before the show, when I invaded fellow artist Scott Hoerz's studio to use his woodworking tools to make my shadowbox. I came across a problem trying to find a store-bought shadowbox at least 2" deep to allow room for the eggshells...and I'm poor and couldn't fathom spending $45 at Hobby Lobby for a pre-made. But, Mr. Hoerz graciously did the work of pulling apart my box, measuring and cutting a groove for glass to slide in and protect my work. He also invited me to return next time I need one, since there will be 3-4 more pieces. I watched him so closely that I'm pretty sure I can do it on my own again :) I'd get the tools myself, but between the Dremel and band-saw I'd be laying down more than I have to spare, heh.
But! I had the box, and proceeded to stain it to give the already sealed pine a distressed and aged look while the unsealed wood stained deeply, lending to a wonderfully organic result.

I then cut a sheet of paper to fit the inside for a loose template sketch of the painting, then did a dry fit for the eggshells with the template in place, which gave me a good idea about how large to make the doll.

Making the doll was time-consuming. I wanted to mix of simple form and anatomical detail on certain parts, but making hands and similar in size and slightly anatomical is a true test of that "attention to detail" description on my resume. Shaping her took about half an evening and then maybe another 4 hours to finalize the part shapes and clean her up for baking the next day. The jump rings to attach the parts together were baked into the clay to ensure durablity...and probably took up half the time spent on the doll before baking.



While my oven was preheating I gathered all the paint and other supplies I'd need to distress her, the background painting and the box.

A wonderful friend, Clarissa, works in a framing store and is generous to donate all the "drops" from each matting job. The drops are essentially the center of the matt, perfectly good pieces of board but of no use to the shop. They are Perfect to paint on, so I trimmed out a piece to fit my box and began the background sketch while the doll was in the oven.

While checking the fit of the sketch within the box, I decided that the walls, needed to have more interest, so I started digging in my supplies. I came up with an interesting sand textured gesso that I piled onto the side walls to dry while I painted. It's supposed to dry clear, but the areas where I really piled it on ghosted up a bit and stayed a little tacky. I knew I wanted to add screen on top, so I didn't sweat that too much, but if it would affect your project, I'd suggest many thin coats to add that texture.
I started laying the basic colors in thin layers for the background painting while the doll was cooling off. I didn't want the blue background to be too flat of a shade, even though there would be tree silouhettes to add, so I chunked in three shades of blue and mixed in a little purple, keeping the area near the moon light lend a sort of halo effect.



After she was cool and ready to paint I alternated painting background and doll, frequently checking the colors under my desk lamp which is fitted with a bright white light which promises to not alter colors. My overhead lights are a bit too warm and have hidden color inconsistensies before, and I definitely wanted this to "come out right." I used an alligator clip to hold the doll parts that needed to be painted in a uniformly (the head and torso) and hung the rest on paper clips since color changes between the tips and center would enhance the look I was going for.

After the body was painted and glossed with a crackle effect sheen, I used gunmetal jump rings to put her together for another dry fit in the box. Perfect.
Now, I had a doll who needed a home.

This was the stage to fix painting in place and tack the screen around the edges, making sure to not scratch the board. The tackiness of the sand gesso helped keep the screen in place while lending a dirty visual affect when inspected close. I affixed the shells in place using E6000 (being VERY careful to not press too hard on them) using the photo of the dry run to guide where the larger pieces would go and I added more tiny shell pieces to keep things from looking too sparse. I was very excited to be able to use those shells in something. They were left over from some amazing farm-fresh eggs from my brother-in-law's girlfriend's parents' chickens, and the shells were too interesting to just toss. You could almost say keeping those shells planted the seed of this project.



Getting the wire to the right length to hang the doll, then wiring the parts in the correct position felt awkward, but not difficult, and I learned what to do slightly different for the next piece. I kinda love learning along the way, makes me feel clever.

My favorite part of a project, though, is turning it around to show the complete piece to my husband, who has this awesome reaction face that says "wow, that's really cool. heh, my wife just made a kick-ass piece." Try as he may, and he does try sometimes to make me feel better about difficult ideas, he can't fake that face. And when he doesn't make it I know that the idea/piece/process needs tweaking or trashing. That night, his face told me it was perfect.


Now, the story.
During the Untitled show I recieved so much awesome feedback and personal interpretations from the viewer that I knew I hit the mark of "telling my story while being able to pull out one from the viewer." Some felt terrible for telling such horrible stories after seeing my piece, but I was thankful to them for opening up.
This isn't a totally positive piece, as the doll is obviously being threatened by the rabid, fuming jackal in the background. My abridged story was about how sometimes no matter what you do, how you change or how lightly you walk on eggshells to keep someone happy, you'll always end up breaking some shells and igniting a fight. There is more to it, but I have to hold it a little to the chest since that's the main aspect of the final piece in the series....and it'd be like titling the last Spiderman run "Death of Spiderman." Giving away the plot twist and leaving the climax a little "eh." (i say this without actually reading that run, but husband has and I've listened to iFanboy's review of it...so there's trustworthy nerd-dom behind it.)

Anyway, thanks for hanging in for possibly the longest blog to date. I'll try to make future reviews a bit shorter...but hey, compact writing isn't my forte ^_^
The next installments to this series will be displayed during Cadillac Tramp's "Saratoga's Revenge" show at Phat Bites on August 20th and No Egret's "Let Them Art" in Clarksville on August 27th. I'm going to try to debut the final piece at "Let Them Art" so the entire story can be seen in one spot, and soon.

Hello, hello

Creatives get all sorts of weird quirks. Bizarre outfits. Weird social skills (or none.) UInique sleep patterns. Sometimes sleep becomes a long-forgotten friend to me, and in those evenings (luckily, it's only lasted as long as 4 nights and I was spared the hallucinations :knock on wood:) I generally try to "Be Productive."

This consists of whatever I am able to finish, depending on what's sitting on my plate. Currently my plate is full of the usual items that would be equal to nasty veggies to a child: Clients who want things yesterday and want more for less, three on the burner that have waited patiently an embarassing period of time for a product, a store that's waiting for inventory, and a partrige in a pear-tree.
Wait...that's not right. Art shows. 3 before the end of August, to be exact.

However, sometimes even the most diligent workers need a small amount of down-time, so even if I couldn't sleep, I took half of that option. I was able to update my site, which felt like a nice progressive step. While I love the pieces I made in art school, I wasn't the most diligent student, so some projects fall in the "Less Than Professional" catagory. I've also taken a crash course in freelancing, so I've grown leaps and bound in the last 6 months. However, I did order items for a client. Brainstormed for another. Brainstormed for myself.
The only thing inducing catholic-guilt, though, is the series if pieces I need to develop for those 3 shows.

I have a wonderful idea that explores terrain I've never touched on with my art. I have most of the supplies, however I also have a superstitious feeling that if I work on this project in the spurts between commercial endevours then it will fail. Weird, especially considering my commercial art training, but it's also a little reflective of my past. I truly feel that anyone can infuse something with their essence if given the right attention & focus. That's why some people are great artists, and some are mediocre. The difference lies within the passion and focus the individual gives the piece as their creating it. It sounds....out there...but I feel like people infuse themselves into their work, even if it's a bland ad for the Yellow Pages. Passion and creativity lies in the creator, not the creation.

heh, I'm just going to apologize now for this post. I was struck with the "unsleepiness" and reached for a beer to beat the brain back. I'm now 5 into the process...hence the ramblings.
But, it's 4am, and most of my clients are daywalkers, so it may have been necessary.
And, as you can tell, this entry has been a random rambling, with minor updates.
Every girl deserves one of those :D

But the series I will hopefully create and infuse will happen sometime within the next week. With the perfect exploration in the third dimension, along with symbolism, to create what I hope is a story the viewer can read on their own without my weak verbal influence.

I'll, of course, post previews and shallow explanations of items here as production goes on.

Until then, though. Enjoy my 4am, insomniac artist rambles :huge grin:

2 Months?!

Have two months really passed since I took a moment to collect the thoughts running around the art? Insane.

May was absolutely PACKED between freelancing and inventory building.
I was able to finish the inventory of Florid Findings and Heartworks and I fleshed out my display options for the Flatrock Festival on May 28th. A friend lent me his wooden walls to hang some orginal art, I borrowed a couple of 3'x3' tables and finally bought a little EZ tent for my very own. Being an outdoor event the tent was a necessity, as the husband and I are very, very sensitive to the sun. Unfortunately I didn't even think about the sun peeking around the sides, as it in the photo below, and we kept trying to escape it as the day wore on. Husband was burnt on his left side since he didn't hide as well as I, but I'll bring something to hide with next time.



Getting the inventory was a torrent of activity for about a week combining freelance, craftiness and trying to keep the husband from feeling too ignored. I was able to make many things at once since I've honed the steps to make certain items into an art.

Below are the uber-complex work stations for Heartworks. To the left is the cutting board with the various impliments I use to manipulate the clay into my little beauties. It's a portable station that I usually set up on the couch with Hobbit so we can at least be within the same space while I work.
To the right is the painting set up I use to paint and gloss numerous paintings and keep them seperated. It succeeds as long as Mr Copper, our cat, doesn't get too possessive and claim them as his toys.








I slowly built up the stock of fabric flowers over the past few months since those took the most time to create for the Florid Finding pendants. Once I had about 50 sewn I started collecting the shiney findings, jewelry bits and assembling the pendants.



Currently I'm chugging on with freelance projects and sketching new ideas for upcoming shows. I have a new series in the works and wanted to include one piece in the 20th anniversary show for Untitled on July 22nd and then in it's entirety in two group shows in August, "Saratoga's Revenge" Aug. 13th and "Let Them Art" Aug. 27th. I'll be posting sketch previews and production steps along the process. I'm severely excited about these pieces because they have traditional roots in subjects that artists reach into when creating fine art stuffs. At least, I'm consciously using those roots to draw inspiration instead of unconsciously.

Exciting stuff. Especially since this marks midway through 2011 and it's vow to get my art up, alive and earn a living from it. I haven't been able to work at CF in a while and my finances haven't suffered from it...which feels absolutely wonderful on my little art brain.